Healthy relationships have set boundaries to build trust, safety, and respect. In professional relationships, boundaries are upheld even more to establish a line of effective communication. The same is true when setting boundaries in mentoring relationships. This is the best way to keep the relationship professional.
But why is there a need to establish mentorship boundaries in the first place? How can you ensure this fine line is not crossed in a mentoring relationship? In this article, let’s explore the importance of setting ground rules for mentoring and how to do it with a mentee.
Why is There a Need to Set Boundaries in Mentoring?
Mentoring is an exchange of ideas between two individuals. Since the nature of mentoring relationships can get personal, setting a boundary between one’s personal and professional lives is a must. Without these ground rules, the mentoring relationship can become invasive and lead to disappointment.
Here are some reasons why boundaries need to be established early on:
- It keeps things professional: With mentoring’s nature, certain topics can unintentionally overlap and cross the fine line to one’s personal life. Mentoring also allows mentors and mentees to form a strong emotional bond. If boundaries are not established, either individual may overstep the other’s personal life without meaning to.
- It helps maintain a work-life balance: Mentors are humans who have the same needs as their mentees. They need time for themselves, their families, and other obligations. By setting a boundary in the relationship, the mentor can be more efficient and not get overwhelmed.
- It establishes trust: Boundaries help set transparency and trust between the mentor and mentee. It creates an environment where the mentee feels comfortable enough to share information, seek guidance, and ask questions.
How to Set Clear Boundaries in Mentoring?
It is both the mentee's and the mentor’s role to set boundaries in the paired relationship. These boundaries help clarify that a topic is safe, appropriate, and permissible to talk about in a mentor-and-mentee relationship. The boundaries also help to ensure communication frequency and channels are appropriate.
Both mentees and mentors should reflect and share their thoughts on the following questions when discussing boundaries with each other during the ‘contracting’ phase of their relationship:
- What are the things I’m comfortable (and not comfortable) discussing in my personal life?
- What are the things I’m comfortable (and not comfortable) talking about in my professional life?
- Which communication method do I feel most comfortable (and not comfortable) to use?
- How much communication is too much (and too little)? I.e. Can the mentee call after work hours?
To put things in perspective, here are the most common areas you need to set a boundary on in your mentoring relationship:
Your Availability
One of the things you need to establish from the start of your mentoring relationship is your availability– or the days and hours you can dedicate to your mentoring sessions. If you prefer not to be contacted on weekends and in the evenings, make sure to let your mentee/mentor know.
This information can usually be established in the Mentoring Agreement you create with your mentor/mentee upon the start of the journey.
Your Contact Details
You will need to share some contact details with your mentee/mentor in order to communicate with each other. However, think about whether you are prepared to share your personal phone number, or maybe just your work phone or work email address.
Your Mentoring Scope
Another mentoring boundary you’ll need to set up is the limitations of your mentoring relationship. While mentoring aims to guide the mentee’s career, skills, or growth, the session can go astray on the discussed topic. Setting up a boundary on this can help draw the line on what topics are off the table. Brancher’s Mentoring Agreement helps establish the mentee’s goals, which can be used to guide the mentorship journey.
When Boundaries are Crossed
Since mentorship is a personal relationship between a mentor and a mentee, it is easy to overstep each other’s boundaries. Suppose a boundary is crossed (e.g. a mentee contacts a mentor outside of work hours after the mentor has stated they are uncomfortable with this). In that case, the best thing to do is to address the issue and refer back to the agreed boundaries or Mentoring Agreement.
If the behaviour occurs repeatedly or if either party no longer feels comfortable and safe, the best thing to do is to talk to your program administrator about the possibility of a mismatch. Although rare, this can happen and lead to a failed mentoring relationship.
Program administrators also have access to this information via the Admin Portal, which is one of the mentoring tools offered by Brancher. You can see the Matching Satisfaction tool to check how well the mentor and mentee have interacted with each other during the session. This allows the administrator to be alerted to any mentoring pairs that are off track and step in whenever their help is needed.
Call Brancher today to schedule a demo of our mentoring platform. You’ll be able to see how you can use the mentoring software features to improve your organisation’s mentoring program.