What Does a Mentor Do: Expectations vs Reality

When hearing the word “mentor,” the first thing that usually comes to mind is an older and wiser individual advising someone young. These days, however, this is not always the case. A mentor can be someone at the same career stage (peer mentor), an earlier career stage (reverse mentoring) or just a couple of levels above rather than someone very senior. 

An “ideal mentor” is someone who is the best fit, depending on personal goals, skills, preferences, personality and values. This “ideal fit” is something that mentoring software platforms (such as Brancher) can help to achieve. Modern mentoring programs are challenging the stereotype of who a traditional mentor is, and creating cross-functional mentoring relationships across the organisation to create a genuine culture of mentoring and learning. 

But does this change mean that a mentor’s role has also transitioned? What does a mentor do in an organisational mentoring program? In this article, let’s talk about people's expectations of what mentors do and what happens in real life. 

What is a Mentor?

A mentor is someone who guides, supports, challenges and directs a mentee. Sometimes the mentor will be directive and give information and advice to another individual (called a mentee) in a field they have gained extensive knowledge or experience. Other times, the mentor will be asking challenging questions and guiding the mentee to arise at their own solution. 

In traditional mentoring programs, a mentor is an industry veteran who likely knows a lot of things in the organisation. But in modern mentoring programs, a mentor does not necessarily need to be older, they just need to have the relevant skills, compatible experience, and personal chemistry to connect with the mentee.

Mentoring is a two-way developmental relationship where both the mentee and mentor learn from each other. Because of the wealth of information amassed by the mentor, they are considered valuable to mentees. They provide their mentees with the information they need to grow in their line of work. 87% of individuals in a mentor-and-mentee relationship have felt empowered and gained a more prominent sense of confidence.

While the mentoring program is beneficial for mentees, 97% of mentors have developed leadership skills as a result of the program. Providing a mentoring program shows employees that the organisation cares about them, their development and their careers. Organisations thrive from mentorship and often experience an increase in employee engagement. This is why organisations adopt a mentoring program in their efforts to improve retention and productivity rates.

What Does a Mentor Do? 

Mentorship can be a life-changing experience for both the mentor and mentee. Unfortunately, not all mentoring pairs experience the same outcome. There are plenty of reasons why mentoring programs fail, which include poorly matched mentors and mentees. This typically happens when the program administrator has to manually pair the participants. But it can also happen when there are too many expectations from the mentors, or when the mentors are not supported or trained.

All mentors should participate in an induction training session and have access to ongoing online learning and resources that support them to be at their best.  Understanding the role of a mentor is critical to knowing a mentor’s limitations, including what they are responsible for. This sets the stage for the mentoring relationship and expectations can be met. Let’s talk about what to expect from a mentor: 

Expectation #1: Mentors Are The Same As Coaches or Therapists

Reality: No, there is a difference between mentorship, coaching, and therapy. Many people often confuse these things since the engagements involve discussions and focus on an individual’s growth.

Unlike therapy, a mentor is not trained on how to counsel or deal with financial or mental health issues and should refer the mentee to a professional where appropriate. A therapist will engage deeply in topics that are personal and historical. A mentor will engage mostly on professional topics, only talking about personal topics to build rapport. A therapist has undergone formal accreditation and training, however, a mentor does not need any formal qualifications.

Coaches are often people who have a formal accreditation. Whilst coaching is a largely unregulated industry (so anyone can call themselves a coach), most of the time, a coach has completed a coaching course that teaches them how to coach. A coach might discuss both personal and professional topics and is more likely to focus on personal topics than mentors, particularly if personal challenges or barriers are in the way of their professional goals.

A coach asks lots of reflective questions and believes the participant “has the answers” (similar to a therapist), they will never “tell” the participant what to do, instead, they will ask questions that aim to raise self-awareness, confidence and clarity on how to move forward.

A mentor does not need any formal accreditation or training, however, good mentors have often participated in some kind of mentoring training (such as Brancher’s online training). A mentor will mostly focus on professional topics however might discuss personal interests or background to build rapport. 

Further, work-life balance or integration is an example topic that blurs the line between personal and professional life, which would be commonly discussed. A mentor would use a combination of mentoring styles and techniques including:

• Being directive: Telling the mentee what to do, providing advice, and storytelling.
• Asking the right questions: Coaching allows a mentee to come up with their own answers to their problems without telling them what to do.

• Providing encouragement: Encouraging the mentee by giving emotional support and recognition.

• Offering constructive feedback: Pushing the mentee to go out of their comfort zone by challenging their perspective. 

In this way, a mentor can be similar to a coach by using the coaching principles of coaching.

Expectation #2: Mentors are Subject-Matter Experts

Reality: Not all the time. Mentors need not be experts in their line of work to be one. They can still mentor someone even if they have more experience and knowledge than their mentee in the area they want to learn more about. Especially in the case of peer mentoring (when people are at a similar career stage), the relationship is a learning process where both parties learn from each other by sharing stories, advice, and perspectives. 

Expectation #3: Mentors Will Open the Door to Opportunities 

Reality: It doesn’t happen often. This is a misconception that many mentees expect from their mentors. At the beginning of a mentoring program, it is important to clarify the roles and responsibilities of mentees and mentors to all participants, including what mentors are not responsible for (i.e. opening doors to opportunities). Without this clear expectation, mentees can sign up for the wrong reasons or be disappointed with the mentoring relationship. 

Instead of becoming the bridge for opportunities, mentors empower their mentees to carve out their paths. This can be achieved when mentors help them understand their development pathways and build their confidence to step outside their comfort zones. Only when rapport and trust have been established in a mentoring relationship will it evolve and potentially flourish into a relationship where the mentor wants to open up doors for the mentee, however, this should not be expected or a given. 

Expectation #4: Mentors Support the Growth of Their Mentees

Reality: Yes, every mentoring relationship aims to support a mentee’s growth in their personal and professional life. The mentor can do this through the knowledge, advice, and direction they impart to their mentees. 

But mentors can only do so much. They cannot be the ones to make decisions for the lives of their mentees. Even if they share valuable advice, it is still up to the mentee to assess their situation and make the call. If the mentee decides not to listen to the mentor, it does not invalidate the mentoring relationship. The mentor will continue to support their mentee, whatever decision they make. 

Expectation #5: Mentoring Takes Too Much Time

Reality: Not all the time. One of the advantages of modern mentoring programs is remote mentoring. This saves the time of mentors and mentees since they no longer have to meet each other in person. Mentoring software can also help streamline the scheduling of mentoring meetings, providing smart conversation starter prompts and summarising action items and reminders.  The average time spent is about 2 hours per month - 1 hour to meet, and 1 additional hour to prep/follow up (or complete mentoring training).

The mentor and mentee can meet virtually at a time they have agreed upon without having to leave their homes or workplace. Pairs can arrange a regular time/day of the month and schedule their meetings in advance. Most organisations will support pairs to meet within working hours, so they can do it within their workday. 

Managing Expectations

Having unrealistic expectations of your mentor can lead to disappointment, frustration or a relationship breakdown. If expectations are not managed or clarified, it can lead to an unnecessary breakup of your mentoring relationship. The best way you can manage expectations with a mentor is to participate in mentoring training (to learn about key roles and responsibilities) and establish a Mentoring Agreement. This document keeps expectations at bay and lets the participants be aware of the other person’s goals, expectations and boundaries. 

Call Brancher today to see how our mentoring software has supported other large organisations with their mentoring efforts. 

Sources:

1. Marett, Timma. (2017, September 12). Moving Ahead. Moving Ahead: Mentoring is Improving Gender Balance in Major Organisations – New Research. https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20170912005963/en/Moving-Ahead-Mentoring-is-Improving-Gender-Balance-in-Major-Organisations-%E2%80%93-New-Research

2. National Mentoring Day. https://nationalmentoringday.org/facts-and-statistics/